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Quote of the Week

"When our behaviors match our intentions, when our actions are equal to our thoughts, when our minds and our bodies are working together, when our words and our deeds are aligned, there is an immense power behind any individual."

-Joe Dispenza (Author & Teacher) 🌼

This Week's "Subconscious Success" Tip

Learn the top 3 ways people stay stuck (and what to try instead)

Recently, one of my mentors and Core Transformation trainers, Tamara Andreas, shared some fantastic thoughts about 3 ways people stay stuck. They really resonated with me, so I wanted to share them with you!

I invite you to keep an open mind as you read these, because to me, they speak to strategies most of us have relied on many times.

Way people stay stuck #1: By focusing on the mental understanding of problems or patterns, thinking that if they just understand their patterns well enough or talk about them enough, then they'll just eventually resolve on their own.

I personally have been here for a looooong time in the past as logical reasoning is one of my top strengths (being an accountant for 10 years!). I've spent hours and hours journaling and talking through things with coaches and colleagues about potential root causes, connections, and epiphanies of the patterns.

To give you an example, I used to really struggle with my confidence as a coach. I started with the belief that I had nothing to offer to the world.

When I would say that out loud, it would feel silly. Of course I logically knew I had things to offer, but that's not how I felt, and no amount of coaching, journaling, or affirmations ever helped me have this belief without faking it...until I finally got into doing subconscious work.

If you met me 2 years ago, I would've said something to the tune of: "It hurts to understand what is happening and why it's happening so clearly and still not be able to just "flip" it in my mind."

If I could go back to her today, I'd tell her it's not her fault and that she just hasn't found the right approach yet.

Our behaviors and reasons why we do things are sometimes fun to ponder in our mind (fun for me, anyway 😂).

However, this actually can work against us and can keep us spinning our wheels because these patterns are generated by the unconscious mind.

So, trying to resolve them through conscious, cognitive based solutions often doesn't work long term, even though it might help you feel better for a short period of time.

It often feels good to get things off our chest, but that doesn't mean it changes things on the subconscious level.

When I first learned about this, it actually triggered me quite a bit because of how much I used to rely on these methods to create long lasting change in my beliefs, habits, and feelings. I also used to coach my clients primarily using these methods, which is no longer my go-to approach.

Way people stay stuck #2: Trying to rely solely on willpower to change.

Turns out, our willpower is like a battery, and it drains over time and takes time to recharge. Relying on it to create long term change is not sustainable.

This is why most people who start a new habit and rely on willpower and commitment alone have challenges sticking to it.

Also, when it comes to feelings, if you say to yourself "stop being nervous", you might feel even more nervous because now your attention is on it.

There are also some methods that when repeated can actually help you create change over a period of time on the subconscious level, but they too, require willpower, and therefore can be tough to build a consistent habit with.

This is things like saying affirmations, changing your physical state with breathwork, tapping, NLP tricks, etc. These things can work, but they usually require you to stick with them.

Ways people stay stuck #3: "Distracting" themselves temporarily instead of changing the problem on the subconscious, automatic behavior level.

Us humans find many creative ways to help us feel better. It could be eating comfort food, chilling out with alcohol or weed, watching TV, having sex, going out with friends, getting massages, or even meditating. You feel better in the moment while you're doing the thing, and usually the patterns that made you feel crappy in the first place don't change.

Again, I'm not saying any of those things are "bad". I do them all (except the 🌿)...sometimes as a distraction and sometimes because I just enjoy it.

What I am saying is, these strategies don't change the automatic patterns of behavior that live on the subconscious level, and therefore, the patterns keep happening, and we stay stuck.

What to try instead

So now that you know this, I invite you to consider if you've been using any of these strategies to help you change patterns of thinking, feeling, and behavior you don't like.

How well have they been working for you to create long term change that you don't have to maintain each day?

If you're happy with how they're working - great!

If you're not, consider that there are other pathways to change.

I invite you to explore methods that work directly on the subconscious level.

My go-to gentle, yet powerful method these days is Core Transformation, which is why I got certified as a practitioner in it. If you're curious about this, book a call with me to learn more!

Besides this, there are other methods like various forms of hypnosis, Rapid Resolution Therapy (RRT), and many more. Explore until you find one that works well for you!

That's it! Have questions about this week's tip? Want to share something with me? Connect with me!

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Cheers to your success!

-Alina Nikishina

Transformational Coach & Mentor for Entrepreneurs

P.S. Did any of these 3 ways of staying stuck or examples I shared resonate with you?

Click here to connect and share with me! I would LOVE to start more conversations around this topic.

If you're curious about Core Transformation, schedule a free call with me and let's chat!