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Issue 47 - 03/24/24 - Subconscious Success Sunday Newsletter: Perspectives for Self Kindness ๐Ÿ’›ย 

March 25, 2024โ€ข6 min read

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Quote of the Week

"Conscious Leadership to me is becoming awake to who we really are - our wholeness without inner separation. And recognizing this wholeness allows us to recognize the wholeness of other beings."

-Connirae Andreas (Psychotherapist, NLP trainer, author, and creator of Core Transformation and Wholeness methods) ๐ŸŒผ


This Week's "Subconscious Success" Tip

If you've seen my other newsletters or spoken to me lately, you've likely heard me talking about a subconscious change work method I specialize in called Core Transformation ("CT")!

Today, I'd like to share with you some of the main perspectives that this method is based on. I've found for myself that learning these alone has completely transformed the way I view inner work, inner criticism, and any other reactions I have to life's moments as a human being. With these perspectives, I find it a lot easier to be a lot kinder and accepting of myself and helps change happen easier, too!

Ready to learn them? Here they are:

โœจ #1 - As we grow into adults, we start to experience ourselves as having different "parts" or aspects of ourselves. You may have heard yourself say something like "a part of me wants X and another part wants Y". It's helpful to know (in the CT model) that all our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are generated by a part of us, and not ALL of us as a whole person. While one part generates a reaction of anger, for example, there's probably another part that wants something different because being angry doesn't feel good for most people.

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โœจ #2 - ~95% (more or less) of our behaviors generate from our subconscious. This means they happen automatically, and not because we consciously CHOSE for them to happen. For example, you don't usually say "OK now I'm going to criticize myself or go into a stress response". Most of the time, it just kind of happens as a "knee jerk", automatic reaction.

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โœจ #3 - All parts have a positive purpose, even if the behavior is negative at the surface level. For example, a part that behaves like an inner critic might want for you to be successful or safe from perceived harm in some way. This part's strategy of criticism to get these things for you, however, has not been very positive.

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โœจ #4 - All parts, at the deepest level, want a state of being-ness called a "Core State". This is a state that "just is" and can be experienced no matter what the external circumstances are in life. It doesn't require any achievements, getting anything, doing anything, or people being a certain way. Some could say that this is who we truly are under all of our societal conditioning, rules, roles, and beliefs. Here are some common words people have used for Core States: "Wholeness", "Oneness", "Being", "Love", "Peace", "Connection with Source/God", and "Bliss".

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The Core Transformation method helps you guide each of your "inner parts" to these positive purposes and Core States of being, and the result is, that this part can experience what it's like to function in the world through having this Core State and choose a more resourceful and positive behavior that serves you and your goals.


How to apply this tip

How you apply these perspectives in your life will be unique to you, but I'm happy to share how I've applied them in my life.

โœจ Knowing that it's not ALL of me that generates a behavior, but only a part of me, helps me remember that even if I notice a behavior I don't like, there's always another part to it. For example, just like there's a part that sometimes gets into self doubt, there's a part of me that has deep self trust.

I also know through this method that parts are often much younger than we are because they form in our developmental years, and so it helps me have more compassion for them as "young children".

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โœจ Knowing that 95% of my behaviors are subconscious and automatic helps me be gentler and kinder to myself. I know I don't consciously choose to generate them. I'm not broken or a shitty person. I'm simply acting from my life's experiences and learned perceptions.

This also lets me know that in order to work with these automatic behaviors, I need to work with subconscious change work methods, not only cognitive based, conscious ones.

***

โœจ Now that I know that all of my parts have a positive purpose through their behaviors, it helps release a lot of shame and helps me step out of the "these behaviors are BAD and must be eliminated" perspective. This naturally creates a lot more self compassion and also compassion towards others.

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โœจ Now that I know that all of my parts want a Core State of being at their deepest level, I can't wait to take them through the CT process! First of all, it feels amazing to experience. Second, it actually helps me live more from a state of neutrality, presence, calm, and compassion.

It feels like I'm truly returning to who I really am deep inside, and it helps me connect with people and the world in a much more intimate way. It makes life more meaningful and purposeful. It helps me grow spiritually.

Now I know that all of my parts actually want these states of BEing, and they've just functioned under the false perspective that they first have to DO or GET something from "out there" to have it. When in reality, I can just have it now because it already exists, and this method helps me access it. There are so many benefits!


Why it works (short version):

I've already kind of explained why these perspectives work for me and for a lot of people above, but I do want to repeat why CT is so effective:

๐Ÿ”‘1. In CT, we work directly with the unconscious part that's causing the behavior you want to change. It's like getting to the "right URL" inside.

๐Ÿ”‘2. We discover the exact resource that's needed THROUGH the unconscious part. We learn what the part wants that's actually positive and help it access its Core State of inner resourcefulness. We then help you integrate this Core State so you can have much more access to it in your daily life.

๐Ÿ”‘3. Through the CT integration process, we transform our behavior, limiting beliefs, AND way of being in the world.


Ready to try it?

This week, if you feel called, try on some of these perspectives. What if that thing you want to change about yourself is a part of you and not ALL of you? Consider that it's happening from your subconscious and that it's not a conscious choice. How might it change things to know this part wants something positive? How might it change things to know this part wants a Core State of being-ness at the deepest level?


That's it! Have questions about this week's tip? Want to share something with me? Connect with me!

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Cheers to your success!

-Alina Nikishina

Transformational Coach & Mentor for Entrepreneurs


P.S. Would you like to experience a Core Transformation session and discover what positive purpose and Core States are behind a pattern of behavior you'd like to transform?

I also want to know - how do these perspectives sit with you?

Click here to connect with me to book a discovery call and/or share your thoughts with me!

SubconsciousSuccessBEingtime
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Alina Nikishina

Alina is a Transformational Coach & Mentor for entrepreneurs. She helps folks transform self sabotage into sustainable success through methods that work with on the subconscious level. She also helps people strategically build values based businesses.

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