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Quote of the Week

"...And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk to bloom."

-Anaïs Nin (Author) 🌼

A Little "Pre-Reading" Before This Week's Tip

Ever been curious to learn more about how your mind and brain work?

Well, there are a lot of different popular perspectives from traditional clinical psychology and neuroscience, but have you heard about Neuro Linguistic Programming ("NLP")?

Most people I ask this question to shake their head "no"...so, I thought I'd write about it since a lot of the transformational work I do with clients is based the principles or "pre-suppositions" of NLP.

Created in the 1970s by a computer science & psychology nerd + a linguistics & behavior specialist, NLP laid out a somewhat simple structure of human behavior.

In the book "NLP: The New Technology of Achievement" by Steve Andreas and Charles Faulkner, they noted that if they could summarize all the NLP Presuppositions into one phrase, it would be that "humans work perfectly."

To me, this basically means that our behaviors can be mapped out into a structure/system and are mostly predictable.

As a systems and processes nerd, this is pretty damn exciting as it creates a practical way for us to create inner change and expand our ideas of "what's possible" for us and others.

So....

✨ What if we didn't have to be stuck in suffering or struggle?

✨ What if we can do and learn things we previously thought were not possible for us?

✨ What if we don't have to rely solely on force and willpower to change or create new habits...without having to "try hard"?

✨ What if could expand our ideas about what it actually takes to change our minds, emotions, and behaviors (vs. subscribing to the societal narrative that it has to take a long time, isn't possible, requires struggle, etc.)?

If any of these questions interest you...you might really this series of newsletters where I'll be sharing more about NLP principles!

If you haven't yet, check out last week's blog where I talked about the 1st two pre-suppositions: "the map is not the territory" and that "every experience has a structure".

Actually...you might really enjoy delving into this inner work for yourself if you haven't yet.

Without further ado, let's dive into today's "NLP Pre-Supposition".

This Week's "Subconscious Success" Tip

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Pre-Supposition #2: If one person can do something, anyone can learn to do it.

Remember last week when we talked about how all of us have "mental maps", and that all experiences have a structure?

Well, if we assume those things are true, we can also work under the principle that if we can study those "maps" and structures, we can apply them to ourselves.

A big part of NLP is teaching people how to model and follow behavior patterns of people who are already successful.

That means that personal and behavioral qualities like confidence, motivation, persuasion, charisma, creativity, etc. are just skills that you can learn and develop.

That's pretty cool considering how there are some limiting societal narratives that say things like "some people have it and others don't" or "I'll never be able to do that because I'm not that type of person".

Just because some people may seem like they're more "naturals" at embodying certain qualities, that doesn't mean these qualities are not available for everyone to learn, practice, and develop.

We can model excellence. NLP reminds us that we are truly limitless!

How to apply this tip

Modeling is a big, juicy topic in the world of NLP. Today I'll give you only one simple way to start applying this supposition.

Think of a personal quality or a skill that you'd like to either develop or enhance within yourself. Maybe this is something like "motivation", "public speaking", or "being lucky".

Now - who do you already know that's living or transitioned that is/was excellent at this that you resonate with?

If you personally know them, even better, because you can actually interview them!

If you don't personally don't them...that's ok...you can do some research thanks to the lovely internet.

You'll want to explore as many of these areas as possible about them:

1) Identity - What kind of person do they consider themselves to be that helps them be great at this quality or skill? What kind of titles, roles, or adjectives do they identify with?

2) Beliefs - What do they deeply believe that their core that allows them to be excellent at this thing? What thoughts and foundational principles are imperative to their success in this quality or skill?

3) Emotions - What emotions sustain them to be really good at this thing?

4) Values - Why do they do this thing that they're excellent at? Why is it important to them?

5) Skills - What skills did they have to learn to be this good? What training did they need to have, if any?

6) Behavior patterns - How do they go about the thing that you want to model (what are the steps)? What daily habits contribute to them being good at this thing?

Now you can take an inventory of where YOU stand in each of these categories when you consider this quality or skill that you want to improve. Then you can compare them to the person you want to model, so that you can see the difference.

Then the question becomes - where could you practice making shifts?

Modeling will not only require you to be following behaviors (i.e. learning the skills and taking the steps that someone else does), but also to embody them at the values, beliefs, and identity levels

Why this works (the short version):

When someone is good at embodying a certain quality or performing a behavior, we can study them and learn what enables them to be good.

While some people consider themselves be just be "naturals" at whatever they're good at, when prompted with questions like the ones I posed above, they'll realize that there are actually patterns and structures to their embodiment and behavior.

People who are really good at something generally operate mostly from the subconscious level - meaning they don't have to consciously think about how to be good at this thing.

Think about it - you're probably "masterful" at something that just happens automatically for you. Like for me it's driving, being organized, and being patient. I don't have to think about how to do it, I just do. Yet, when we break it down, there are core beliefs, emotions, attitudes, and skills that allow me to do these things with ease.

You could interview me to get an idea of what "mental maps" I apply to those behaviors and traits and then through various exercises learn to apply them to yourself!

Ready to try it?

What's a skill or personal quality that you'd like to learn or embody more of?

Who can you think of that's good at this?

Take a moment to study them - even if you just explore ONE of those categories I mentioned above.

Compare theirs to yours currently, and apply the change accordingly.

If you have a hard time with adopting their identity, beliefs, or values, then this is where subconscious change work methods like Core Transformation can help tremendously.

Remember - you are limitless!

That's it! Have questions about this week's tip? Want to share something with me? Connect with me!

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Cheers to your success!

-Alina Nikishina

Transformational Coach & Mentor

P.S. Want some support with developing the identity, beliefs, and values of successful folks? Book a Core Transformation session with me! I love helping my clients transform whatever thoughts, emotions, or habits they feel limit them from reaching their next level.

Interested? Book a discovery call here. You can click here for ways to connect with me right away!

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