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Quote of the Week

"The bud stands for all things...

even for those things that don’t flower...

because everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;

though sometimes it is necessary to re-teach a thing its loveliness,

to put a hand on its brow of the flower and retell it in words and in touch...

[that] it is lovely until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing…"

-Excerpt from the "St. Francis and the Sow" poem by Galway Kinnell 🌼

Gratitude to David Bedrick (Teacher of un-shaming, author, and psychological activist) for bringing my attention to this.

This Week's "Subconscious Success" Tip

"Feel it to heal it". If you've been in self development for a beat, I'm sure you've heard this advice a time or two.

Question is - what does it mean? And does it actually work?

When I first heard this advice, I took it to mean that whatever emotion or painful past event you keep avoiding confronting, you need to feel it/re-experience it mentally at "level 10/10" for some period of extended time in order for it to truly process and heal.

I've gotten advice to intensify feelings like sadness, anger, and fear so that they can be fully processed. I've also gone back to painful childhood memories in attempt to help that past version of myself feel more resourceful...it was hard.

While to some degree it worked temporarily, for me, I noticed that these feelings kept coming back. The way I was approaching processing my emotions was really uncomfortable and sometimes painful.

Sometimes I would journal a ton of negative thoughts that were swirling in my head and cry it out...which eventually would feel cathartic...but often times it was exhausting and led me to beating myself up.

All in all, I often experienced only temporary results following these strategies.

I've since learned a couple of things:

1) Intensifying our emotions and mentally re-experiencing past events by talking about them can actually deepen and reinforce the habitual pattern of them in our system, and

2) There's much kinder, gentler ways to process our emotions and also to heal the effects we experience today due to our past childhood and life experiences.

And to my surprise, it doesn't involve intensifying the feelings, punching pillows, going back into childhood memories or past events, or journaling.

I believe there are multiple ways of doing this...my two favorite ways I've found so far are Core Transformation (CT) and the Wholeness processes!

How to Apply This Tip

Perhaps the easiest way to apply this tip would be to experience what it's like to process your emotions through the CT or Wholeness method.

You can do this either by booking a session with a trained guide like me or even getting a taste of through pre-recorded audios.

If you're curious to try the audios, click here for the Wholeness work and click here for the CT group guide.

If you want to experience a custom, guided session, reply to this email and let me know!

Explaining how both of these work would go beyond the scope of this short newsletter. What's important to note is that when we explore our feelings and inner experiences through these methods, we get to experience them on a different level and from a different lens.

In CT, we get to learn what the positive purpose is that exists beyond the surface level experience by first kindly meeting the emotion where it is and then asking it what it wants through expressing it.

In Wholeness, we experience our emotions and reactions on a sensation quality and "Awareness" level. We notice the location, size, shape of the feeling and also notice what it would feel like if we could reach out and feel the "sensation quality" of it with our hand (e.g. is it dense, light, airy, vibrational, cold/hot, etc?).

If we have resistance or reluctance, then this is treated as an important contributor to the process and is welcomed in.

In both of these processes, we don't get into the specifics of the situation that caused the feelings in the first place, and so we can have a chance to process them from a different vantage point that's a lot more resourceful.

We feel our feelings in a different way - like on an energetic level.

The end result for a lot of folks is they feel lighter and that they have a new perspective on the situation, so their reaction is transformed and much more neutral.

I recommend exploring these methods to learn more about these unique ways of processing our feelings!

Why It Works (The Short Version)

Both of these methods work with the principle that our system has a deeper intelligence and is always attempting to do something positive for our wellbeing.

The challenge is, the strategy that our system is using is often outdated because it's something that we picked up in our early childhood or other significant life experience.

These strategies cause us problems today, and we don't know how to change them because it's become a habituated pattern.

So, if we can first meet our emotions with the curious mindset of finding out what the deeper intelligence and positive purpose is for that emotion, we can much more easily transform it into something that is resourceful for us.

Also, since our subconscious mind primarily communicates through sensory terms (visuals, auditory cues, feelings, etc.), these processes allow us to work with our feelings on that level, where deep change can happen.

Feeling our feelings fully and talking about them on a surface, conscious level typically just re-enforces them.

These methods allow us to experience them in a different way and transmute them in a kind, gentle way so they don't keep coming back.

Ready To Try It?

Check out the links to the videos I referenced above or book a complimentary discovery call with me to learn more about Core Transformation or Wholeness sessions!

That's it! Have questions about this week's tip? Want to share something with me? Connect with me!

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Cheers to your success!

-Alina Nikishina

Transformational Coach & Mentor

P.S. What are some of your favorite non-conventional ways to feel and process your feelings?

Click here to connect and share with me! I love learning from my readers.

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