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Quote of the Week

"Always remember: You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

-Christopher Robin (from Winnie the Pooh) 🌼

This Week's "Subconscious Success" Tip

"You just gotta trust yourself."

You may have heard this sound advice.

I was telling this to a mentee the other day, and they said to me, "if I didn't have access to these change work tools, then I wouldn't really know how to do this."

It reminded me of my struggles with self-trust that I used to have for years and how it wasn't until I started delving into subconscious change work that things became much easier for me.

Today I'd like to share with you some of my wisdom from this, in case self-trust is something you are cultivating.

My tip in a nutshell: Get curious on what could subconsciously be preventing you from trusting yourself more fully, engage in a method to transform the pattern(s), and in the mean time, start practicing some new habits to start building the identity of someone who DOES trust themselves!

How to Apply This Tip

Before I found subconscious change work methods, I used to rely on the following:

• Affirming to myself over and over - "I trust myself" until I felt somewhat convinced

• Referring to myself like this: "I am the type of person who trusts herself."

• Giving myself "pep talks" before things that caused nervousness and anxiousness - like "I trust that I can do this."

• Making small decisions without allowing myself to overthink my response. I would just trust that I made the best decision in that moment and would reflect on my learnings later.

These things seemed to somewhat help.

Here's the thing though, the subconscious programs that were generating the thoughts and feelings that caused me to doubt and criticize myself were still there.

So it's like I had to keep working hard and use willpower to shift myself out of these emotional patterns.

Then I found subconscious change work, and I was able to actually transform the underlying patterns that generated the self doubt and low self worth in the first place.

What I notice now is that it's much more natural for me to "just trust myself". I have an inner sense of worth that I don't need to search hard to find within myself. I can do things that would've terrified me in the past and feel courageous and curious. It's not something I need to hype myself up for anymore - it just happens naturally.

So - to successfully transform these patterns - I just asked myself:

• "How do I know that it's hard to trust myself?"

• "What feelings, behaviors, or thoughts do I experience that are not in alignment with trusting myself?"

What came up was a slew of things - ranging from fear of the unknown to thoughts like "I have nothing unique to offer to the world". Comparison was a big one as well, and there was some money stuff in there too. (This was not all done in one session btw)

Then, I took each of those thoughts, feelings, and habits I had and worked on them individually with subconscious change work methods, like Core Transformation.

It took me several months of consistent work to clear a lot of these repeating thoughts and feelings...and eventually I did get to a place of meaningful transformation!

So while I was doing the deeper inner work, I still practiced my old coping mechanisms, and I actually found them to be more effective!

It became easier for me to practice the habits of someone who already trusts themselves...such as making decisions without overthinking, saying "yes" to things that stretch me and build my skill level without feeling terrified, and choosing language like "I am on my way to figuring this out" vs. "I don't know".

Why It Works (The Short Version)

Learning to trust ourselves is a skill, and also, some of us have some subconscious programs from our childhood where we were basically taught that we can't trust ourselves fully.

Maybe we had caretakers who taught us that there's a "right" and "wrong" way to do things or that we need to listen authority figures over our own internal guidance. Maybe we were taught to go with group/societal thinking in order to not "rock the boat". Maybe we learned that we need to be or perform a certain way in order to be accepted and loved. Perhaps something else entirely.

This is why I believe that most people who get the advice to "just trust themselves" could likely use more support to un-learn some of these paradigms and ways of being.

When we start to transform the root causes of why we're not able to trust or love ourselves, we no longer need to pretend that we do...it just becomes something that's true to us.

Subconscious change work methods like Core Transformation help our system get the message that we are already safe and resourceful.

Ready To Try It?

If self-trust is something you're cultivating, I invite you to ask yourself these questions: "How do I know that it's hard to trust myself?". "What feelings, behaviors, or thoughts do I experience that are not in alignment with trusting myself?"

Then, carve out some time to begin addressing these inner patterns with your favorite subconscious change work method (there are so many on this newsletter series...popular ones are parts work, hypnosis, EFT, etc.).

Book a free call me with if you're curious to learn if Core Transformation coaching can be a good fit to help you transform!

That's it! Have questions about this week's tip? Want to share something with me? Connect with me!

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Cheers to your success!

-Alina Nikishina

Transformational Coach & Mentor

P.S. P.S. Is learning to trust yourself part of your life journey? What has helped you the most so far on this path?

Click here to connect and share with me! I'd love to hear your perspective.

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