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Quote of the Week

“The definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting different results.”

-Albert Einstein 🌼

A Little "Pre-Reading" Before This Week's Tip

Ever been curious to learn more about how your mind and brain work?

Well, there are a lot of different popular perspectives from traditional clinical psychology and neuroscience, but have you heard about Neuro Linguistic Programming ("NLP")?

Most people I ask this question to shake their head "no"...so, I thought I'd write about it since a lot of the transformational work I do with clients is based the principles or "pre-suppositions" of NLP.

Created in the 1970s by a computer science & psychology nerd + a linguistics & behavior specialist, NLP laid out a somewhat simple structure of human behavior.

In the book "NLP: The New Technology of Achievement" by Steve Andreas and Charles Faulkner, they noted that if they could summarize all the NLP Presuppositions into one phrase, it would be that "humans work perfectly."

To me, this basically means that our behaviors can be mapped out into a structure/system and are mostly predictable.

As a systems and processes nerd, this is pretty damn exciting as it creates a practical way for us to create inner change and expand our ideas of "what's possible" for us and others.

So....

✨ What if we didn't have to be stuck in suffering or struggle?

✨ What if we can do and learn things we previously thought were not possible for us?

✨ What if we don't have to rely solely on force and willpower to change or create new habits...without having to "try hard"?

✨ What if could expand our ideas about what it actually takes to change our minds, emotions, and behaviors (vs. subscribing to the societal narrative that it has to take a long time, isn't possible, requires struggle, etc.)?

If any of these questions interest you...you might really enjoy these series of newsletters where I share more about NLP principles!

If you haven't yet, check out Issues 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, and 66 where I talked about these pre-suppositions:

• The map is not the territory,

• Every experience has a structure,

• If one person can do something, anyone can learn to do it,

• The mind and body are parts of the same system,

• People already have all the resources they need,

• You cannot NOT communicate

• The meaning of your communication is the response you get,

• Under every behavior is a positive intention,

• People are always making the best choice(s) available to them.

And actually...you might really enjoy delving into this inner work for yourself if you haven't yet.

Without further ado, let's dive into today's "NLP Pre-Supposition" - the last one I'll be sharing for this series!

This Week's "Subconscious Success" Tip

Neuro Linguistic Programming Pre-Supposition #10 (last one I'll share in this series!)

If what you are doing isn't working, do something else. Do anything else.

As I initially typed this out, I realized there is a bit of a paradox in this tip and Einstein's quote above when applied to subconscious change.

The brain does learn and change through repetition. So, when I repeat a certain behavior or thought over and over again, I am actually expecting that if I stay consistent, then I will change my automatic way of behaving to those new behaviors and thoughts.

Regardless - there is value in this pre-supposition.

There are countless ways to inner change. Every human brain is different and has its own preferences that make change easier. The question is - what works for you?

When I first entered into the coaching world, I was mostly engaging in traditional coaching methods. The parts of me that thrived in accounting loved being able to understand my problems better and find logical solutions to them.

At some point, however, I felt "over-coached". My awareness level was at an all time high. I knew exactly why I am the way I am and where all my self-sabotaging behaviors stemmed from.

I wanted to change them, but no matter how hard I tried or forced positive affirmations, the inner criticism and self-doubt would come back a few days after my uplifting coaching sessions. And when I couldn't change, I criticized myself even more for not "doing it right".

That's when I learned about subconscious change work, and so many things started to change - without having to force it.

Some things worked better than others. I actually didn't see a ton of long term shifts from trying classical NLP techniques, but they really help in the moment. I got really obsessed with listening to hypnosis audios for about a year...those were great, and I still occasionally do it and create tracks for myself and clients.

Now - I am primarily working with the Core Transformation parts work and also a whole toolbox of in the moment tools that help me shift my state.

In my sessions, if something is not working, then I partner with my client to find something that does. I un-cover what's creating friction, and we figure out together what will help make it easier. We never force or keep doing something if it feels off or doesn't resonate.

Moral of the story - if you feel like you've given something a good go for multiple weeks or months, and you're not noticing any considerable changes in your thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, then perhaps try something else?

How to apply this tip

Think of an inner pattern of thinking, feeling, or behavior that you'd like to change and have been trying to change for a considerable amount of time.

What has been your approach so far?

What have been the benefits of this approach, and what could be better about it?

What do you like about it and what do you not like?

Perhaps for you it's not about replacing this approach with a different one, but rather supplementing it.

For example, I love doing yoga in the morning. It stretches my body and calms my mind. I get massages sometimes - those are great for reducing stress. I meditate to clear my mind. I do breathwork and attend sound baths because those things feel amazing to experience.

AND I also do regular Core Transformation sessions with a guide and on myself so that I can transform any subconscious programs that prevent me from having ease and enjoyment of life.

This almost always works for me. When it doesn't, I try something else. I listen to an uplifting hypnosis audio. I'll do some EFT tapping. I'll do some fun NLP tricks. Sitting in silence and nature often helps too. 🍂

Why this works (the short version):

The various strategies to help us with our wellbeing have different primary purposes, although sometimes, you can receive unexpected benefits that go beyond the primary purpose.

For example, yoga and massages are amazing. They can help us tremendously when our body feels tight from sitting or just being a human in today's world. They often have a meditative element to them too. Generally, your mind feels more at peace after sessions.

A lot of people can notice peace in those moments, but a day after they step off the yoga mat or massage table, they usually go back to their old ways of being. (I've experienced this may times). That's because there are likely deeper, subconscious programs that are contributing to the stress and tightness in our bodies. There are more effective methods for transforming those, imo.

Also, as I mentioned earlier, traditional coaching was mind blowing to me when I first started exploring inner work. When it got to transforming deep seeded patterns like a yearning to succeed so I could receive my parents' love, that needed a different approach. I already knew it was creating a lot of unease, and yet I couldn't stop it consciously.

I didn't even know about subconscious change work until 2021, so I've spent over 30 years of my life spinning in various subconscious coping mechanisms I learned as a child.

So if the primary strategy isn't working for what you'd like to change, try something else!

Ready to try it?

This week, consider which inner pattern of thinking, feeling, or behavior you've been trying to change for a considerable amount of time. Use the questions from the "how to" section above to do a self-reflection and notice if there's a different approach you'd like to explore.

That's it! Have questions about this week's tip? Want to share something with me? Connect with me!

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Cheers to your success!

-Alina Nikishina

Transformational Coach & Mentor

P.S. Want to experience how reaching a profound state of being like "peace", "oneness", "wholeness", or "love" can help you transform on-going emotional challenges or habits you want to kick? Btw - it doesn't require meditation or forcing anything to happen...you can actually get there just through a few simple questions.

Curious? Click here to book a complementary Discovery Call with me, and let's chat about what you'd like to change and how Core Transformation can help!